You’ve probably heard that 2020 became a more horrifying version of Bird Box when a Japanese amusement park asked patrons to scream inside their hearts instead of out loud… because coronavirus. Jokes on them because we’ve all been screaming internally for months. In short, we’re being asked to do the impossible and turn life into […]Read Post ›
Every so often I start seriously exercising. It’s usually when I’m feeling particularly horrible – like when I have to check a new age range box or after walking through a Forever 21 to get to whatever pretzel vendor is closest in the mall. This time though, it’s different (which will clearly appear on the […]Read Post ›
It all starts in a bar in Spain… you know, like most things in life. “It” is the play In & Of Itself, though the word play feels like I’m damning this experience with the faintest of praise. And before I go on, if I can in any way convince you to go to this […]Read Post ›
I’ve heard rumblings recently about men – well, some men – getting all angry that there are women only showings of Wonder Woman. Listen, I get it, feeling left out is super craptastic, but perhaps these dudes should reframe their thought. For example, would they have been this upset if it was a women only showing of […]Read Post ›
Hubs and I are not having children. We’ve known that for quite a while. But still, every once in a while that old school cuckoo clock in my midsection starts working again and the bird starts making that noise, summoning me to embrace some deeply buried, barely existent urge to bare children like some sadistic siren.
I’ve won like three five in my entire life. A baseball that was signed by players I didn’t know from a game at Six Flags, a Sarah McLachlin CD from a radio station after being the correct caller, tickets to a Beck concert, and – (spoiler) just last weekend – an air purifier thing.
Earlier today I went to the eye doctor for the first time in a few years, and it. was. awesome. Sure, generally eye exams are banal – A or B? 1 or 2? What can you read? What do you mean you never learned letters? How do you work in communications? – you know, the typical stuff. But not today. Not today.
You might have heard there’s an election coming up. The country (or well, about 90 million people anyway) pre-gamed for it earlier this week by watching a debate between a Secretary of State and an internet commenter.
I guess we know who the favorite is, huh?
I guess if you have no hips, or boobs, or are willing to tuck your man parts, you could totally rock these new trending outfits and people would have no idea if you’re from Mars or Venus.
an attempt at humor 