You know how sometimes things happen to you… like winning the lottery… and at first it’s all angels singing from on high and you’ll never have to worry about anything ever again, and you could possibly even pull off that scene from Indecent Proposal* (or DuckTales) where you roll around on a pile of money.
*I’ve never seen that movie, so I am only about 10% sure that actually happened.
Then it becomes more like The Jerk and you realize you aren’t black (unless you are) and that suddenly having all this money is not a good thing because all these people just keep asking you for things and it’s overwhelming and you’re forced to watch videos of people cat juggling but at least you have water coolers full of wine out by your tennis courts.
Admittedly if you haven’t seen that movie that doesn’t mean anything to you. Just go watch it real quick… I’ll wait… Oh, or you could just watch this.
So that overwhelming feeling that comes from something really good, that’s what I’m going through right now.
Next weekend I’m getting married… and I couldn’t be less excited about it if I tried. I want to be married, but the whole process of getting married just seems so unnecessary. I would be fine with “Do you, girl, take this guy?” “Do you, guy, take this girl?” Ceremony over.
But apparently that’s not what most people do.
They aren’t showing their heads because they are both really stressed out… right?
We settled on a small ceremony (10ish people) in a place that’s TBD with a ceremony we have yet to finish writing. Then today we went to get our marriage license and this guy was all mean and “You haven’t decided if you’re changing your name?” And I’m all “No, Snarky McKhakis” and he’s all “Well you have to decide before the ceremony because this has to go to THE STATE and we can’t change it after that.”
Then I started crying. I actually did make it out of the building first, though.
Is it just me or does it seem like this whole getting married thing is a WORLD easier for men? As far as I can tell, all they have to do is show up dressed appropriately.
I had to flipping try on 12 dresses that each made my hips look like someone attached Dolly Parton’s boobs to my hips. That was loads of fun. Then it’s all “Don’t gain any weight because the dress fits!” from the crazy 10 pound Asian woman doing the alterations. “Thanks, Obvious McThumbelina, I hadn’t considered that.”
The whole deciding to change my last name thing is giving me way more anxiety than I anticipated. I was never the girl who dreamed of getting married and all the colors or the dresses or where it would be, so I never thought about my last name. It never occurred to me that my name would become who I am. It means something – for better or worse. My professional network isn’t vast, but people know who I am based on both parts of my name.
Never in my life did I dream I’d have to think so much about this.
A friend shared a link on my FB wall from the Huffington Post about how an increasing number of women are changing their last names. I’m wondering if the decision is just easy for all of these people that aren’t me.
It’s not that I am stuck on keeping my name, or averse to taking his; my problem is that I’ve suddenly been given a week to decide this pretty big thing, when I had no idea that would be the case, and it’s just exacerbated how much about this whole process of getting married I really hate. Again, I am excited to be married… I love my fiance more than anything… except maybe baby ducks. It’s probably a tie.
Maybe I’ll end up changing it to something completely different. A friend recommended Bluth… which would be awesome since we’re getting married on the day the new season of Arrested Development is being released on Netflix.
So… who’s been there? If you’re married, what did you decide to do? If you aren’t, have you already decided what you’ll do someday?
Also, how much alcohol should I plan to consume in the next week to get through this whole thing? Oh! Maybe I’ll change my name to Mimosa!
Yup… that screams great idea.