My husband and I have some supremely adorable dogs. Sure, most dog owners – like most parents – will say that, but in our case it’s really really true.
Most of the time anyway.
Then today happened.
Tonight a friend and I decided to go running together so after I got home and changed, I packed up the dogs in the car and headed over to his house. Normally this 10ish minute trek is relatively low key. Occasionally, because they are greyhounds and I do not have a stretch limo, one will step on the other and it will end in growling or barking. Generally, that’s about it.
How most car trips go for us.
Our dog Bailey is very good about car rides. She gets in, she lies down, she doesn’t care what happens until the doors open again. Dylan, on the other hand, hasn’t quite figured out how to car yet. Possibly because while he wants to get comfortable, Bailey has already laid claim to most of the available space so he is forced to contort himself around where she is (read: he has basically no room).
So sometimes he does weird things like has his face near the back window and his butt between the car door and the driver’s seat. It’s not uncommon, so today when he did that I figured he was just trying to find a place where he could be without being growled at. Then it smelled like he farted.
Then a few seconds later, I realized it wasn’t fart. It was poop.
Halfway through the 10 minute trip he decided he needed to go so badly that he couldn’t possibly hold it in. Likewise, he clearly couldn’t hold in his excitement at pooping in the car for the first (and hopefully last) time so he had to get it as close to me as humanly possible.
Sometimes there is harmony…
But, I was on a highway and would be arriving soon so I just opened the windows and dealt with it.
Then, about two minutes later, Bailey leapt over the thing that divides the front seat from the back and was suddenly my passenger. Not only that, in fact, but she was also wet.
Clearly not satisfied with just having pooed in my car, Dylan decided he should seal the gross deal by peeing… all over the back seat (which, luckily, was covered by a seat protector), including on his canine sister.
So, not the greatest car trip ever, but there is a silver lining: When I got to my friends’ house and told them what happened, they immediately got out some cleaning supplies and helped me de-gross my car.
I honestly have no idea what the lesson is here, with the exception that sometimes when life really has you questioning what the hell is going on in the world, the world makes your dog poo in your car and you just have to laugh and try not to throw up on your steering wheel.
I should write cards.
p.s. – I have a picture of the “incident”, but husband decided it was too much to include here. Apparently the gross part about this whole thing isn’t that it happened, but is instead that I made sure I had proof so you guys wouldn’t just think I was making this up.
I have so much to learn.